What if you were able to break free? What if you were able to live fully, completely, the true you? What if you could better understand the parts of self that influence you on a daily basis? Imagine regularly dwelling in the truest part of yourself. What would you be doing today if there were no holds barred? Just imagine that for a moment…
If only you could throw off this part that keeps you in a career you hate, or in a relationship that’s not good for you, or eating food you don’t even enjoy. Perhaps it’s a part of you that holds to family expectations of keeping up a title or a family role that feels totally dysfunctional.
Instantly your mind probably did what mine did: excitedly tried to imagine it for a split second when you felt a sensation in your body plummet, you felt that lump dump to the bottom of your gut. And, then came the dismal thought, “I can’t think that way. There are bills to pay, retirement to save for, kids educations on the horizon. Why tease myself with imaginations of things I can’t have?”
Who is the True You?
Okay, so maybe picking up and quitting your job is not an option this week! But let’s slow down for a moment and go back to the idea of imagining more about the true you. This isn’t some made up person that you are not. This is digging deeper into the parts within you that want to be known and experienced more fully.
I’m asking you to imagine the true you inside. It’s you. It’s a part of you that’s always been in there, but maybe it just became buried over time. Life happens. Experiences can lock us up in unexpected ways that cause us to lose the best part of who we are. Sometimes that occurs as a result of dysfunctional relationships, sometimes because of tragedies we’ve experienced.
We all have lots of Parts – it’s a healthy adaptation!
All of us have different parts of ourselves – it can be as basic as, part of me wants to live in the mountains, part of me wants to live in the tropics. Or the parts of you can be more complex: part of you may feel small, defenseless, and unable to help yourself, but maybe another part of you feels strong, able, and confident. Maybe who you are socially feels really different than who you are when you’re alone. So, when I ask you to tap into that part of you, that true self, this is what I mean. Who are you really? Inside, deep down, are you in touch with the best part of yourself, the true you?
The Risk of Knowing Self
For some, it may be nearly impossible, and even sharply painful to consider the true self within. All you may be able to think of is negative parts. In fact, maybe the negative parts (thoughts, feelings, scripts reeling through your conscious) are speaking up now and poo-pooing this blog post! And that’s okay, there’s a place for those seemingly difficult parts too. But, how about the beautiful, strong, confident part of yourself? Does that part of you have a voice? This part may have become so disconnected in you over time that you are not even sure if it exists anymore.
Maybe you can’t imagine the true you inside (that feels too distant). Do you wish more than anything that you could get rid of the difficult parts of you (critical thoughts, distressed feelings, etc.…)? I’m guessing if you’re still reading that you can relate to this. I’m guessing that there’s a big resounding part of you that says, “ya, I wish I could get rid of this part of me!”
Where Parts of Self show up…
It’s these parts of ourselves that so many people want to get rid of. If only you could throw off this part that keeps you in a career you hate, or in a relationship that’s not good for you, or eating food you don’t even enjoy. Perhaps it’s a part of you that holds to family expectations of keeping up a title or a family role that feels totally dysfunctional. What if you could work through the parts of you that keep you in a job that causes distress, angst, and knots in your stomach everyday?
Maybe living fully, completely, truly you is not anything about your job or career. Maybe it is about the way you feel in your relationships. Do you feel secure, loved, and confident in relationships? Or is it quite the opposite; no relationship is truly safe. Perhaps there’s a constant anticipation of the bottom falling out. Perhaps there is a gnawing feeling of anticipated loss, betrayal, or deceit.
Finding Peace within Ourselves
What would it be like to quiet these fears? What if we could set the anxiety aside? Can you imagine the opposite of living in anxiety, fear, and emotional overwhelm? What would it be like to walk in confidence? To be in relationships that offers mutual love, respect, and honor?
I’m here to say its possible to get beyond the blocks – those things (whatever they may be) that keep you bound up – it’s possible to make peace with them.
Transforming into the person you were truly meant to be is possible.
Even if it’s difficult right now to imagine, the true you is in there. You may need to give it time to be heard. That part of you calls out and wants to be known. And ya know what, I know she’s beautiful!
So now what?
If you are curious to learn more about yourself, perhaps there’s a part of you that keeps saying “I think I want to talk to a counselor,” please feel free to contact me. I provide a free 10-15 minute phone consultation to answer your questions, describe my approach to counseling, and allow each of us to get familiar with who we each are before meeting. You can reach me at (703) 457-6828 or see my Contact Form to email.