“What did I do wrong?” “Can I ever trust again?”
“Is this all my fault?” “Am I good enough?” “Will this ever get better?”
“Will I ever live this down?” “Why can’t I just let this go?”
Who Seeks Marriage Counseling?
The majority of people seeking marriage counseling are in marriages or long-term committed relationships who are experiencing significant distress in their relationship. Some couples seek marriage counseling because it seems like they can’t have a normal conversation anymore without it turning into an argument. For others it feels as if all you ever do is fight. And for others you don’t even fight anymore, your relationship has gone silent.
When a relationship is struggling it is common to experience feelings of loneliness, betrayal, and lack of trust. Often hurting spouses think to themselves, I might as well be single for as alone as I feel. It’s not uncommon to feel like you’ve lost connection with your significant other. It may feel as if you don’t even know that person anymore. Living in a relationship with this kind of distress takes its toll on all areas of your life. It’s very stressful when your most important relationship isn’t going well. Whether you’ve been in this relationship just a short time or 30+ years and find yourself wondering ‘what went wrong,’ it’s time to call for help.
Who to Call?
Heather Smith, LPC is an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) trained therapist who understands the unique dynamics that arise in marriage counseling sessions. Often individuals have specific ways of reaching out or withdrawing from a relationship as their needs vary. Couples’ approaches are often opposite when it comes to getting what they deeply long for.
With Heather’s help you will begin to explore the mire of emotions you’ve been experiencing as well as the pattern of your relationship. You may be feeling deeply alone, angry, or frustrated. Perhaps you try time and again to reach out to your partner but they don’t seem like they get it! You keep trying all sorts of attempts to get their attention or to get them to understand what you want or need and you keep getting the same result – no change. With Heather’s help, as an outside objective professional perspective, you’ll be given the chance to both be heard and the opportunity to truly understand what it’s like to be the other person in the relationship.
How it Works
Ultimately, the goal in EFT marriage counseling is to repair your relationship through deep-felt lasting connection and establishing a new pattern of interacting that is safe and respectful of each others’ needs and wants. Can you imagine your most intimate and important relationship as fulfilling, trusting, and loving? It is possible to have an enjoyable and lasting relationship. Emotionally Focused Marriage Therapy is a well-researched and established method of marriage counseling. Reports show that “7 out of 10 couples move from frustration and loneliness into a secure loving bond (Sue Johnson, 2009).”
As an EFT Trained therapist, Heather Smith, LPC uses EFT interventions to establish healthy attachment in couples that enables them to interact in new and vital ways. Through this new connection couples find they have a secure bond with one another that enables them to move forward together. With a secure bond and newly establish patterns of interacting couples are able to connect and problem solve future issues on their own without the ongoing intervention of marriage counseling.
WHEN TO SEEK HELP
So how long do you attempt to cope with these thoughts, feelings and sleepless nights before you make a call? My suggestion is, it’s never too soon. In fact, most people who experience relationship distress wish they had called far sooner to address their relationship concerns. Maybe you realize help would have been beneficial a long time ago, so why continue to hesitate? If what you’ve read relates to you, I encourage you to call me today and begin the pathway to relief and renewed connection.
Perhaps you are just not sure if marriage counseling is for you. I totally understand! Coming for marriage counseling is a big step and takes courage. Perhaps the responses of others may be helpful. Some clients have said things like:
“This has been so helpful, I’m so glad I came.
“This wasn’t too hard, actually it was pretty easy.”
“Wow, just one session opened up my eyes to so many things, I can’t believe it!”
You don’t have to know how to do therapy before you come, you can leave that to me. It is my job to provide a safe place to talk and help start the conversation. When you are ready, feel free to call or contact me via the contact form on this site. I’m more than happy to answer your initial questions and set up an appointment.